Broken Dreams
by Blackswan86
Summary: I never thought I'd see this place again. This room… It was your nursery... 2x03 One-shot.


**Hey, This is a little one shot about Emma feelings as during the nursery scene in 2x03... Hope you enjoy it. **

* * *

**Broken dreams **

_"I never thought I'd see this place again. This room… It was your nursery."_

I look at you with guarded eyes, my heart pounding wildly against my chest. You continue, "_You never even got to spend a night."_

I watch you as you look in wonder at the soft toy bear in your hands. You brush the remaining dust off its fur. I can see your eyes sparkle as you look around the wreckage in wonderment.

I can hear the regret and sadness in voice as you talk. _"This is the life I wanted you to have."_

I can remember the last time I genuinely thought about you. I was seventeen in trouble, scared and pregnant. I was so alone and even though we hadn't met I knew I desperately needed you, mom, so much. But you handed me over to this cold world to fend without you. I remember thinking and wondering my whole life how you could be so selfish.

I shut my eyes for a moment as I try to imagine what we could of had. However all those painful memories come flooding back. You should have been there. You should have protected me.

"_I was going to teach you how to walk in here."_

My body shudders. I anxiously play with my jacket collar in my hands. I look away from you in discomfort when you talk about the things you had meant for us to do together.

_"How to talk." _

My heart beats painfully in my chest at the sound of your words. I listen to the memories we never had. Your eyes are full of sadness at the broken dreams…I angrily want to shout out that I missed out on us too but instead I stand in silence listening_._

_"How to dress for your first ball…"_

My eyes begin to fill with tears, I quickly blink them away. I don't want you to see me cry, I refuse to show any weakness. I follow you as you circle the room.

Now as I listen to you I realise that I no longer blame you. I stand here in my ruined nursery. I watch you move beyond the rubble and ashes; I can't help but wonder if this is just dream and that I will wake up at any moment.

_"You never got to do any of it."_

I hear you say. Your words cut straight through me, making me feel nauseous. I blink again trying to stop the tears from forming in my eyes.

_"We never got to be a family."_

My eyes snap up to meet yours. _How could you say that? Have you given up on us getting home safe already?_ I feel a tiny bit of anger building inside me.

My eyes harden. "_We have a family… in Storybrooke."_ I say harshly, the words slipping from my lips. _"__And, right now, they need us to get back there." _I remind you that your grandson and husband, my father are waiting for us back in our world.

* * *

"I'm, uh, sorry I torched our ride home. I couldn't let her get to Henry. I just…"- I stutter feeling guilty for ruining our only chance to get home.

"You had to put Henry first." You smile at. You understand my actions without any doubt or questions.

I now finally understand why you gave me away. The painful sacrifice you made for me. However even though I forgive you, I need you to know how much you hurt me. You know nothing about the heartache I went through.

_"I was angry at you for so long… Wondering how you could choose to let me grow up without you."_ My eyes now shining with tears. I'm not as strong as I let you believe.

"_But then I just… Seeing all this…You gave up everything for me…"_ I say, my voice choking as the tears roll down my cheeks. It's now impossible to hide my emotions.

_"And you're still doing that. I'm sorry; I'm not good at this. I_…"I want is to tell you everything. I want you to hold me and tell me everything will be ok now. If only we could turn back time, things would be so different. I want you in my life, I want this dream so much.

_"I guess I just… I'm not… I'm not used to someone putting me first." _I can hear my voice crack as my whole body aches for you.

I stiffen as you move toward me, tears building in your eyes too. _"__Oh,"_you murmur softly.

You reach out and gently wrap your arms round me. _"Well, get used to it."_

My body is still frozen but I don't push you away. You do not see the smile that appears on my face as you hold me. Unlike everyone else in my life, I cannot shut you out. No matter what has happened in the past, you're my mother and always will be.

Finally we have that mother and daughter moment we both have longed for. Your touch is so soft and motherly, it makes me feel safe and loved. I let you hold me close to you. I can feel your heart beating against my chest. Its steady rhythm calms me. I desperately want to be comforted for a change.

It feels like we are stuck in a daydream that we both wish will never end. Your hands stroke my cheeks and run through my hair, carefully wiping away all the tears I have shed.

We regrettably break away from our tight embrace. I exhale wiping my tears away. I can't speak. I let out a shy embarrassed laugh. You smile at me. My guarded barriers are now back in place, keeping me a safe difference from you.

My breathing starts to slow slightly as I turn away from you and walk towards the door. I can still feel my heart thumping in my chest. I close my eyes briefly, imagining one last time of the life we never had.

I pretend not to notice the devastated look on your face as you shut the door behind us.


End file.
